I don’t ride Uber very often. It’s not a service that my anxiety does well with. I’m literally taking my life and putting it in someone else’s hands for a period of time. I’m never truly comfortable with that but I do agree that it is a wonderful service and extremely convenient in this day and age, and I do take advantage of it occasionally.
After Saturday’s Uber ride I might have to re-think how often I’m taking advantage of it however.
My friend Becca and headed out to volunteer at the VA hospital that morning. We had been dropped off by her husband (he had some other errands to run). Therefore once our volunteering at the hospital was done we had the option to hang out at the hospital, or figure out how to get to the downtown area, grab something to eat and find somewhere to hangout until her husband was finished.
We opted for the latter. So Becca popped on and hailed an Uber. What a mistake that was. Or maybe not… you be the judge. It definitely is a funny story.
First of all, the women took almost 20 minutes to get to us after finishing the last trip and after we got in the car, we discovered why. While she told us that it was due to traffic, my money is on the fact that she probably wasn’t paying attention to where she was going.
But when she finally arrived and we got into the car was where the real fun began. Becca had happened to be saying something funny when she drove up so by the time we got in the car we were a little giddy. Apparently that was something of note for our driver.
“Are you ladies having a good day?”
“Not too bad but we’re definitely ready to head out.”
“Oh well you just both look so happy.”
Now here’s where it started getting weird.
“Did you get your sandwich sweetie?”
What? What sandwich? We didn’t have or order any sandwiches. That was a weird question.
Then we heard it. The man on the other end of the phone. And might I add turned all they way up on her Bluetooth speakers in her car.
“Yeah babe. I got it.”
That was the tip of the iceberg with this Uber ride. Becca tried to be funny and make a joke.
“I want provolone on mine.”
Our driver proceeded to turn down the volume just slightly, but not a lot after that comment. Making it clear to us that she didn’t want us interrupting her conversation, but also showing us that she wasn’t going to end it. So of course we felt awkward saying much or evening chatting with each other in the car for that matter. We spent that ride mostly silently texting each other in order to communicate.
Our driver and her gentleman collar were clearly still in the getting to know you phase because about 2/3 of the way into the ride the conversation between them took a turn for the really awkward for us.
First our driver mentioned how “you college aged girls will do anything if you’re horny.” We thanked her for being so kind but assured her we were both pretty far beyond college age. That however did not get her to pause her conversation there.
“You don’t even really like the football player but you sleep with him because you’re horny. You don’t like women but you’ll sleep with them when you’re horny. Me. I won’t do that. I guess I’m a good girl. I got 10 fingers that work just as well as any man. Aren’t I right girls?” She looks back through the rear-view mirror and bellows at us.
“That’s why I put on my POF profile that I’m bad in bed. Because I want men with that intention to leave me alone. But that doens’t even work. Then all the men want to do is teach ya. But you don’t care right Harry? You saw I had that on my profile right? And you still want to go out with me? Or are you going to leave me now that I’m talking about that?”
To Harry’s credit he responded with “No baby you know I don’t care about that.” He’s either a gentleman or really wants that ass! LOLOLOL! Either way he’s playing his cards right.
It was around this time that we pulled up to our destination and again to be funny Becca said from the back of the car “Yay Harry!”
As we left the Uber Becca heard our driver say in the background “Those girls were nice.”
As soon as we shut the door and pulled off Becca and I were roaring with laughter. Alcohol had to be our main priority at that moment.
Becca and I still haven’t fully recovered from our crazy Uber experience. I believe more consumption of alcohol in addition to our Bloody Marys and Mimosas after the ride are still needed in order to make a full recovery… but time will tell. LOL!
Does anybody have any Uber/Lyft horror stories? Can you top mine? Let me know!